Forgive me if I appear to be sticking my nose into other peoples business, though admittedly I'm an incorrigible snoop. But there's a cottage on the Dulwich estate side of Sydenham hill towards the Crystal Palace end that seems to be in a permanent state of development.
It's not the main building but a side building that stands next to a rather elegant, pastel coloured house. Over the last 3 years I've seen it renovated and then ripped down again. Then rebuilt and now it's been torn down again.
It's all very puzzling as there doesn't appear to be any traces of a recent fire or structural failure. Though the project is often covered with monoflex sheeting so I might be wrong.
I have no vested interest in the project but I'm just puzzled as to what on earth is going on.
The main house is very hard to miss as it's in a very desirable location with an enviable display of taste over wealth.
So, can anyone fill me in?
Cottage on Sydenham hill
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bigbadwolf
- Posts: 726
- Joined: 7 Jan 2008 21:21
- Location: Forest Hill and Sydenham
I think the side building used to be a garage to the main house and that this was then rebuilt whilst the latter was split into luxury apartments - one is currently being advertised with Wooster & Stock:
http://www.woosterstock.co.uk/details/5739.html
Not sure what is happening with the side building, but there is information about various planning applications on the Southwark Council website.
http://planningonline.southwarksites.co ... ngonline2/
As you say, all very puzzling and it's a very nice house in a good location.
http://www.woosterstock.co.uk/details/5739.html
Not sure what is happening with the side building, but there is information about various planning applications on the Southwark Council website.
http://planningonline.southwarksites.co ... ngonline2/
As you say, all very puzzling and it's a very nice house in a good location.
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bigbadwolf
- Posts: 726
- Joined: 7 Jan 2008 21:21
- Location: Forest Hill and Sydenham
Thanks, Thomas.
Though I'll admit I was rather hoping to read that the owner had been gripped by a bout of destructive insanity and set about the place with sledgehammer whilst chasing away meddling accountants, solicitors and planning officers.
But if anyone does have any alternative - thus more interesting - theories relating to the dilapidated state of the (haunted?) house I've drawn attention to, then please don't hesitate to write in and tell us.
Even if you've made them up.
Though I'll admit I was rather hoping to read that the owner had been gripped by a bout of destructive insanity and set about the place with sledgehammer whilst chasing away meddling accountants, solicitors and planning officers.
But if anyone does have any alternative - thus more interesting - theories relating to the dilapidated state of the (haunted?) house I've drawn attention to, then please don't hesitate to write in and tell us.
Even if you've made them up.
Six years ago, the owner of the house, Mr Norbert Colon, had been doing some improvements around the property, namely the garage at the side, and had subsequently built up a considerable thirst in the process.
To quench this, Norbert decided to pop along the road to the Dulwich Wood House, and imbibe a couple of quick Specials.
Whilst sitting at the bar, considering a suitable accompaniment to his pint, his eyes fell upon the boxes of Nik Naks, the extruded corn snack from Golden Wonder, behind the counter; his first purchase was a packet of Scampi ‘n’ Lemon flavoured, which went down well. With his appetite still unsatisfied, he moved on to the Rib ‘n’ Saucy flavoured.
As soon as the nobbly piece of hydrogenated fat and flavoured ‘corn’ hit touched his tongue, he experienced a Damascean moment and he knew he had found the flavour he had been searching for, all his adult life.
There was no stopping him; packet followed packet, followed packet, and before the night was through, he had consumed the full 56 packets box, along with a dozen pints of Youngs Special - which was on particular form that evening.
Slamming his money on the counter – with a decent tip – he stumbled out of the pub, into the balmy summers night, and headed home.
Unfortunately, the beer had taken its toll on his coordination skills, and within sight of his house, he stumbled into the road, where he was hit with a glancing blow, by a truck from the local steam fair, which was on its way back from a fly tipping excursion in Croydon.
The blow wasn’t fatal, but he spun around, and hit his head against the sharp bend sign, knocking him unconscious.
He was found, an hour later by a local bodybuilder, out running, who called for an ambulance. Paramedics took him, comatose, to Lewisham Hospital, where he remained on life support for the next five years.
It was on the day that the machine was due to be unplugged, that one of the nurses on the ward noticed a slight flickering of Norberts right eye. Doctors were called immediately, and – miraculously – within 2 hours, Norbert was sitting upright in his bed, laughing and joking with the staff.
Within days he was home, but he was finding it to adjust to losing 5 years of his life.
The deaths of Charlie Drake and Rod Hull affected him immensely, and the only thing that gave him comfort was the number of Tescos within reachable distance, and the incredible variety and availability of internet pornography.
Then, one summers night, he was struck by an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu, and memories of a similar night, years before.
Immediately turning off his PC, and pulling his trousers up, he headed out onto Sydenham Hill, and ran as fast as his muscle weakened legs would take him.
He reached the Dulwich Wood House, and immediately sensed something was wrong. There was no front entrance any longer. Panicking, he followed the fence around, until he reached the gate, and spotted the door.
His confusion rose further, when he entered the building, and appeared to be standing in the middle of a hotel reception, with a bar.
Still rabid for the delicious saucy taste, he pushed over the tables and chairs, and planted himself at the bar, where he surveyed the confusing array of foreign beers, in their fancy, eye catching pumps (some at over £4-00 a pint).
‘A pint of Special, and a packet of Nik Naks’ he demanded of the barmaid, who was aware that there was something not quite right about her new customer.
‘I’m sorry sir’ she stammered ‘We’ve not had Nik Naks for over 4 years…..although I can offer you some special sweet potato chips which have been hand cooked by Italian eunuchs, at the very reasonable price of £6-30…..Oh, and the Special is off too’
It was too much for Norbert, he slammed his arms down on the bar, sending a cascade of Japanese wasabi peas and Indonesian pistachios, all over the bar area. He then ran up the stairs, desperate to find a way out, but further confused by the new feng shui’d layout, he could do nothing but throw himself headfirst through the window.
Cut and bloodied, he staggered back to his house, where he was greeted by the garage/outhouse, which had been the initial cause of his downfall, years earlier.
Without pausing, Norbert frenziedly ripped the building apart with his bare hands, tore his clothes off, and then disappeared into Sydenham Woods, where he is still reportedly spotted by picnicking families, as he approaches them, vainly searching for Nik Naks – preferably Rib ‘n’ Saucy, although he wouldn’t mind Scampi ‘n’ Lemon.
That’s what I heard had happened, anyway.
To quench this, Norbert decided to pop along the road to the Dulwich Wood House, and imbibe a couple of quick Specials.
Whilst sitting at the bar, considering a suitable accompaniment to his pint, his eyes fell upon the boxes of Nik Naks, the extruded corn snack from Golden Wonder, behind the counter; his first purchase was a packet of Scampi ‘n’ Lemon flavoured, which went down well. With his appetite still unsatisfied, he moved on to the Rib ‘n’ Saucy flavoured.
As soon as the nobbly piece of hydrogenated fat and flavoured ‘corn’ hit touched his tongue, he experienced a Damascean moment and he knew he had found the flavour he had been searching for, all his adult life.
There was no stopping him; packet followed packet, followed packet, and before the night was through, he had consumed the full 56 packets box, along with a dozen pints of Youngs Special - which was on particular form that evening.
Slamming his money on the counter – with a decent tip – he stumbled out of the pub, into the balmy summers night, and headed home.
Unfortunately, the beer had taken its toll on his coordination skills, and within sight of his house, he stumbled into the road, where he was hit with a glancing blow, by a truck from the local steam fair, which was on its way back from a fly tipping excursion in Croydon.
The blow wasn’t fatal, but he spun around, and hit his head against the sharp bend sign, knocking him unconscious.
He was found, an hour later by a local bodybuilder, out running, who called for an ambulance. Paramedics took him, comatose, to Lewisham Hospital, where he remained on life support for the next five years.
It was on the day that the machine was due to be unplugged, that one of the nurses on the ward noticed a slight flickering of Norberts right eye. Doctors were called immediately, and – miraculously – within 2 hours, Norbert was sitting upright in his bed, laughing and joking with the staff.
Within days he was home, but he was finding it to adjust to losing 5 years of his life.
The deaths of Charlie Drake and Rod Hull affected him immensely, and the only thing that gave him comfort was the number of Tescos within reachable distance, and the incredible variety and availability of internet pornography.
Then, one summers night, he was struck by an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu, and memories of a similar night, years before.
Immediately turning off his PC, and pulling his trousers up, he headed out onto Sydenham Hill, and ran as fast as his muscle weakened legs would take him.
He reached the Dulwich Wood House, and immediately sensed something was wrong. There was no front entrance any longer. Panicking, he followed the fence around, until he reached the gate, and spotted the door.
His confusion rose further, when he entered the building, and appeared to be standing in the middle of a hotel reception, with a bar.
Still rabid for the delicious saucy taste, he pushed over the tables and chairs, and planted himself at the bar, where he surveyed the confusing array of foreign beers, in their fancy, eye catching pumps (some at over £4-00 a pint).
‘A pint of Special, and a packet of Nik Naks’ he demanded of the barmaid, who was aware that there was something not quite right about her new customer.
‘I’m sorry sir’ she stammered ‘We’ve not had Nik Naks for over 4 years…..although I can offer you some special sweet potato chips which have been hand cooked by Italian eunuchs, at the very reasonable price of £6-30…..Oh, and the Special is off too’
It was too much for Norbert, he slammed his arms down on the bar, sending a cascade of Japanese wasabi peas and Indonesian pistachios, all over the bar area. He then ran up the stairs, desperate to find a way out, but further confused by the new feng shui’d layout, he could do nothing but throw himself headfirst through the window.
Cut and bloodied, he staggered back to his house, where he was greeted by the garage/outhouse, which had been the initial cause of his downfall, years earlier.
Without pausing, Norbert frenziedly ripped the building apart with his bare hands, tore his clothes off, and then disappeared into Sydenham Woods, where he is still reportedly spotted by picnicking families, as he approaches them, vainly searching for Nik Naks – preferably Rib ‘n’ Saucy, although he wouldn’t mind Scampi ‘n’ Lemon.
That’s what I heard had happened, anyway.
-
bigbadwolf
- Posts: 726
- Joined: 7 Jan 2008 21:21
- Location: Forest Hill and Sydenham