OK, I might be a little over invested in this a-thousand-times-better-than-Love-Island thread... But can I just repeat one more time, CRN my B*LLS.
Because for a CRN to happen Chris Beach would have had to walk into his local Tunbridge Wells cop shop (or ring them, but that doesn't work too well dramatically) and say:
"Good morrow, Officer. I'm Chris Beach, a fully grown adult male. I spent a good deal of time and energy creating a fake Caribbean Bakery account on Twitter, and on the local forum that I own because I wanted to see if a woman I was having an Extremely Important Argument on the Internet with was saying unkind things about me. When she then emailed my fake bakery account with some personal information about me (to see if it was me), I wrote a gotcha post on aforementioned public forum I own, accusing her of threatening me. Which, yeah, I suppose, technically, was a lie. Anyway, can I have my CRN now please?"
Come on SE23.Life mods. We know the score. This guy is playing you. If you can live with that, that's fine. Sunken costs fallacy, perhaps?
Sad that the action is now fully over on SE23.Life, (you can't silence us forever, ya heartless bunch) and unfortunately I'm now rapidly losing sympathy for the Chris Beach character after reading the SE23.com thread.